RIP Daddy.
Today is seven years since my father passed away.
I can’t quite believe so much time has passed. It’s the wrong side of five really, isn’t it? All I keep thinking is “only three more years til a decade…”, and it’s taken me this long to actually get over it.
Every year I’ve had some sort of emotional breakdown over the three day period (the day before, the actual day, and the day after), where I’ve cut off the entire world, LITERALLY slept for thirty hours straight, refused to speak to anyone, etc.
This is the first year that I’ve not had a total emotional collapse.
It’s probably because everything is so positive right now, so all I can think of is what so many people have said to me today; “he’d be proud of you”
But the latest GaGa video came out yesterday. Watched it today. Made me cry a bit, it was so beautiful. My favourite, and the only one out of all of her videos that’s emotionally affected me.
Then I found out about Amy Winehouse’s new album.
I’m listening to it right now. I’ve burst in to tears three times so far. She’s been such a huge part of my musical journey, and therefore my life, and I’ll never get the chance to perform with her, or even tell her what she’s done for me.
When everyone was calling me “the new Amy Winehouse” last year I was flattered. Now I’m downright honoured. I hope that one day I can be as musically perfect and influential as her, and that somewhere, there’ll be a little girl like me whose life changes because of my music.
That’s why I got involved with this industry.
I want to give people what I had; hope, joy, and inspiration.
And as I end this blog post, with tears streaming down my face, I realise just how significant today has been for me.
It’s a beautiful day, and I’m lucky to be who I am.
Cass.xo
